"FREE MAN"

At a silver wedding anniversary, the husband was standing in one corner looking very sad. 
"What's the matter?" asked his friend. 
"Well, a week after marriage, I got fed up and wanted to kill my wife, but my lawyer said that I would get 25 years imprisonment. Now I realize that today I would have been a free man." 

"LOST WIFE"

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. 
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" 
"Why?" the woman asked. 
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

"BLIND"

On the first night of their marriage, the groom told the bride, "Darling, love is blind." "Yes dear," replied the bride, "but the neighbours are not, so please close the blinds." 

"SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE"

My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage last. 
Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food.... 
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. 

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed. After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed. 


"Our sex life has really improved since my wife and I got separate beds." 
"How's that possible?" 
"Well, we have them in different apartments."