COMA
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One
day, when
he finally woke, he motioned for her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You
have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you
were
there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When
I got 
shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right
here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know
what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill
with
warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
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What's
Marriage
Marriage
is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out,
you lose interest.
Insurance
is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything
back.
I know nothing about sex, because
I was always married.
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Jack’s grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next
week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married
life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him
more and more. 
On the rare occasion
that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or
even worse, called out other men’s names! Whenever they went out
in public, 
she ignored him and flirted with other men.
Finally, he decided
to confront her. Diane, he said, the only reason you married me
was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he
died" "Don’t be ridiculous, she replied, I don’t care who gave
you the money!"
Next
one
After
a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested
that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper.
I meant the next baby!"
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