The Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

"Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed
baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend
you're a statue."

"What's this, Honey?" the husband inquired, as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths
bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for
us too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when
they went to sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got
out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a
sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the 'statue'.,
"Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three
days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

Three Wishes

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That’s okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock
to him."

The woman replied, " That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she became the
most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world, and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, " That’s okay because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine." So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!

The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish. She said,
"I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.