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MARRIAGE
BLUES
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| How
do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry
done for free. |
| Marriage
is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.! |
| In
the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created
man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither
God nor man has rested. |
A
man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine." |
First
guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive." |
Husband
: U know dear, our son got his brain from me.
Wife : I think he did, I've still got mine with me! |
I
asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?" |
| We
always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. |
|
She has an electric blender,
electric toaster, and electric bread maker.
Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
|
She
ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for
the garbage?"
"No, jump in!" said the truck driver. |
| During
their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do
you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed
that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied : "Yes,
honey, that was the happiest hour of my life." |
One
day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now
tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and
did everything mother asked?"
In one voice they all replied, "You, Daddy!" |
A
couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart,
and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the
truth, dear.
Is this third child really mine?" "Yes, dear," replied the
wife, "but the other two are not." |
A
husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with
us for 5 years now. Isn't it time she got herself her own
apartment?"
"My mother?" said the shocked wife, "I thought she was your
mother." |
A
guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those
sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She did." he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna
find a fake Jeep?" |
| Man
at 86 who marries a girl of 25 is like buying a best-seller
for others to read. |
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