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What do women and condoms have in common?
They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopuss.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
The balls are just for decoration.

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.

Why do girls rub their eyes in the morning?
They have no balls to scratch.

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
About three inches.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have......
the older she gets the more interested he is in her.