One day a guy dies and winds up in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…
Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell!
Satan: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of
fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays,
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer, soft drinks, you
name it! We drink till we throw up, and then we drink some
more. And you don’t have to worry about hangovers because
you’re dead anyway. Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Satan: All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get
the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs
out. If you get cancer—no biggie, you’re already
dead, remember?
Guy: Wow… that’s awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do.
Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, and Kino. If you go bankrupt,
you’re dead anyway. What about drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…
Satan: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself
to a great big bowl of crack…or smack. Smoke a doobie
the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want,
you’re dead, who cares?!?!?!
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: No…
Satan: Ooooh…You’re gonna HATE Fridays
