I Know Everyone

Santa was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.

Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, "OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruises door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Santas boss is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruises house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Santa says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes, I know him, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go.

At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Santa, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Santa. "My folks are from Poland, and Ive known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Santa and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Santa says, "This will never work. I cant catch the Popes eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and Ill come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And Santa disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Santa emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

By the time Santa returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss side, Santa asks, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Whos that on the balcony with Santa Singh?"

-- lalit garg